Veda (name changed), a lovely lady in her
early 30's was standing behind me waiting for coffee at our office cafeteria.
That was the first time I met her. Both of us were the only ladies in the crowd
and so we sat together for a cup of coffee! We both were new to the office. For
no apparent reason we became lunch mates and later shopping buddies too :) Both
of us were married, and both of us wouldn't talk about our families. For some
reason, we never spoke about life after office hours. One day as I was
completing my work and about to leave, my hubby called me to inform that he
might be late and wouldn't be able to pick me up that day. With a light grim on
my face, I started walking. It was then Veda called me. I looked back, and she
asked me why I was still at office. I told her that am about to leave as hubby
would be late. She offered me a lift if I could wait for 10 mins. I was more
than happy to wait for 10 minutes than get into an auto and bargain for the
extra amount later! I went near her desk and found that she had pics of all goddesses
(only female deities) in that. I couldn't resist myself from asking her why she
preferred all female deities :) She told me she believed only in Shakti power!
Before I could further ask her any questions, she shut down her system and we
were good to go.
That was the beginning of us getting to
know each other well. She was a strong lady or rather I would call her bold and
beautiful! She doesn't like people asking her too many questions about her
personal beliefs or her life. She never did that too! But again, not all are Veda,
including me! We all love to hear stories about others and would like to opine
about them even if its unwarranted. In a casual chat with few other ladies in
cafeteria, she raised a valid point, which not many would agree. Do not at any
point of time, think of someone as someone else, that sucks! Each relationship
has its place. A mom will always be a mom; you cannot compare anyone as your
mom! Likewise, spouse, child, in-laws, friends everyone has a special place in
our lives. It is when we mix it up, the real problem starts. How true, if I
expect my mom-in law to be mom, I would never be happy. She has her own
daughter. But if I accept her as a mom-in law, she would be just perfect!
Accepting people for whom they are is the first step towards a strong
relationship. If one tends to find flaws even for small things, the
relationship breaks even before it begins! Talking to Veda was always a
pleasure, she has immense knowledge on various things. One day as usual while
having coffee with other ladies, the topic of raising kids came up. Both I and Veda
suddenly turned silent while other ladies continued the conversation. Only then
did we realize that both of us had same problem - both of us did not have kids
then! She was just like me, didn't want
to have kids soon, and then later had some health issues, because of which
couldn't have one! We were truly shocked to know that we faced same health
issues and how we overcame them with the support of our spouses.
Infertility
is an issue that affects a vast majority of the young women in IT today. With
little or no support system, and stressful work, health takes a back seat. All
married couple love to have their own offspring at some point of time. It is
best left to their choice on how and when to have! Generally, men do not get to
answer this question. I always sympathize and empathize with women on this.
When are you planning to have? Do you have any problem? Girls of your age group
have already had two kids! Excuse me, if you are not going to be a support
system, better stay away from these stupid questions. There are few who have
genuine concerns on this issue, but how many are those? I remember vaguely,
after the birth of my twins, I spoke to a relative wishing them on new year.
The relative was not so happy that we had twins. Her son, who was of my age
group was yet to have one. In a mild tone she told me there could be
celebrations at your home, not here! How mean that was! New year brings in new
hope, aspirations and lots of joy. Why would someone show all frustrations on
that day to someone else! Have I ever shown my problem to you, why would I have
to take that from you then, was my reaction!
We are like mirrors, someone smiles in
front of us, we do that back. If someone shows their anger at us, we just do
the same! But then each mirror has a different side- the side that is not
revealed to others who stand in front of it.
Each day you might meet different people. Not all can be your friends
for life. Not all would like to know about your details nor share their
personal details with you! Every mirror
is fragile too, so instead of trying to find the other side of it, better we
try not to break it!
